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| Howdy.
I've been... Slightly busy this past year. Well, not really. Just an extremely lazy bastard.
What's new with me?
...
That's right! Not a damned thing has happened this past year. Went to France, America and explored Scotland a bit. Have been clubbing practically every weekend of this year. So I can safely say that I've been drunk approximately... 45% of this year. Maybe more.
Working hard like a good man should. Two years of physical and mental sweat have really matured me.
haha! That'll be fucking right.
I really, really cannot be arsed with this on line-diary-blog-nonsense any more.
Ergo, I'm going.
Ciao, lovers!
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| RIGHT THEN, DOUCHE BAGS, IT'S ABOUT FECKIN' TIME I WROTE SOMETHING HERE, WASN'T IT?!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Christ. Honest to God (Blasphemous twice in the same paragraph. Notice that readers?) I am not this random in "real life". I just sit, stare into space and occasionally sing. And, if you're lucky to see it, I'll smile a little bit. Most off, you'll catch me frowning. Because I'm the misanthropic hero and I am so fucking emo. So suck me off or go away.
...
Did I say that?
(I am making no sense; not to worry readers. I never do.)
ANYWAY!
Here we are, readers. We've arrived at this... pivotal moment in life when we decide what the fuck we want to do with ourselves (Personally, I'd rather sleep all day and play games at night, but Mum won't have it so work for me).
So, lets analyze our readers*, shall we? What are you doing? Studying Art and going on for a degree? A DEGREE?! IN ART?!?! Mother fucker, go you! Do well and make Mummy and Daddy proud. Get rich, have many, many lovers and a huge bank account.  What about you, young man? Architecture? Really? FUCKING HELL! (Will is a legend. Say otherwise, I kick you in the vagina. Did I make you grimace there? Ha! ).What about you, young lady? What's that? A FUCKING SINGER?! (See what I'm leading up to here?). Well done to you, young lady friend. Well done to all our readers. Let's turn the camera on myself.
Well... I'm gonna be a police detective! (Did you laugh? If not, I wasted about 10 minutes of typing, you miserable bastard). Compared to those aforementioned readers, I feel like a pew boy who has just caught a Priest grinning at him.
Christ, what a let-down I've become. The contrast of dreams and aspirations between me and all of my friends is quiet something when you think about it. If, by chance, I was in a room with all of my buddies (Would be fucking crowded. Yes, I'm so popular.) and sat down with them. I would stand out like a sore thumb. Because I don't take life seriously, and if you even remotely knew me, you'd know this. And the fact that I look like a bit of a rough bastard. Not tough rough. Dirty rough. I blame the razor stubble and stupid haircut.
So, "where to now, Captain?" I hear the little kids from the front row scream. Well, to be honest, I haven't the faintest idea. I'm slightly scared, I must admit (SCANDAL!), that my life will just evolve into this mundane, monotonous shit heap that you see every other day of the week: No variety, no fun, no life at all. I'm almost 18. Some of my close friends have grown more mature than I (An easy task, mind you.) and this evolution in personality is taking its toll.
Ach! Balls to this - I've wasted a little more than 5 minutes of your time for no real reason. Just senseless, mindless crap.
Cheers, readers.
I'll write up more when I'm in the force and stuff.
Me - now.
* Readers stated are friends of mine who are doing extremely well for themselves. I wasn't making shit up. Mind you, the rest of the post was straight off the bat.
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| Hello, all. A happy new year to you all.
Let's see... wow, this is odd: I can't think of anything to write about. Fook me.
Oh, well. I'll update when I do. As for now, I'm away to work.
Toodle-oo
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| 
Hello.
After a long, 8-hour period in work, I thought of all the stuff I
needed in my life.
Get ready as, for some odd reason, I'm gonna share it with you.
Things I need:
- A tan
- A watch
- My hole
- A gun
- To be taller
- rid of acne (fucking random bastard that is it  )
- A cowboy hat
- A police badge
- A relationship
- A sandwich
- Anti ageing drugs
- 500 Million pounds
- A licence to kill
- to be good
- to be nicer to people close to me
- rid of my random bouts of anger
- more music
- less porn
- more games
- more reading materials ( read 9 books in the past month. Christ )
- a Cat. Preferably Minky
- a holiday
- stuff to do
- a punching bag
- better health
- fireworks
- RPD handgun
- rid of my birthmark
- to be better looking
- a bigger room
- flags from numerous countries
- to go to a wrestling match
- to traverse the Great Wall of China
- fight Bruce Lee
- stop being lied to
- cake
- A fashion sense
- to be bulletproof
Right. I'll post more when I think of it. But for now, I'm off.
Bye bye. | | |
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